Food for thought
Imagine…….
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end
up owing you money?
If it’s zero degrees outside today, and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow,
would the degrees still be zero?
Why is it called building when it is already built?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
If you drop a chameleon in water, will it turn clear?
If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
If all the world is a stage where is the audience sitting?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become
disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are debarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians
can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, dry cleaners
depressed?
Why is it if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe, you will
believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it
to be sure?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
I thought how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older,
then it dawned on me …they are cramming for their final exams.
I thought how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the post Office? Are we supposed to
write to them? Why don’t they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailman
could look for them while delivering the mail?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
P.S. “Today is a gift, that’s why it is called the present.”