Fun For All » Men

Nine phrases Women use most often

meera — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 05:16:23 +0000

(1) Fine:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes:

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing:

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead:

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh:

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever:

Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it’s true!!!

Technorati Tags: Men, terminology, think, Women

Why did you have to die

meera — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 14:01:19 +0000

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

Technorati Tags: grief, Men, wife

The Perfect Woman

meera — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 04:30:08 +0000

Perfect Women

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship,
they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy,
stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand
Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road
in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus
with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of
Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon
they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated
and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived
the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?

The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men Go to next page

Technorati Tags: Men, woman