Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

Year 2008, that was – Happy new year

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

Year 2008 has gone. There are so many things it has left behind. The
good part would be Cricket for India. The bad part, no body would
forget. Subprime – Recession. Let’s see what 2009 has for us!!!

Best wises to all of you for a prosperous and profitable new year.


     _   _
    | | | | __ _ _ __  _ __  _   _
    | |_| |/ _` | '_ \| '_ \| | | |
    |  _  | (_| | |_) | |_) | |_| |
    |_| |_|\__,_| .__/| .__/ \__, |
                |_|   |_|    |___/
          _   _
         | \ | | _____      __
         |  \| |/ _ \ \ /\ / /
         | |\  |  __/\ V  V /
         |_| \_|\___| \_/\_/

         __   __
         \ \ / /__  __ _ _ __
          \ V / _ \/ _` | '__|
           | |  __/ (_| | |
           |_|\___|\__,_|_|

Sharing a few jokes on new year resolution and depression with you…
(more…)

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Merry Christmas

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

Merry Christmas Friends. Here is new dose of jokes…

          __  __
 __/\__  |  \/  | ___ _ __ _ __ _   _   __/\__
 \    /  | |\/| |/ _ \ '__| '__| | | |  \    /
 /_  _\  | |  | |  __/ |  | |  | |_| |  /_  _\
   \/    |_|  |_|\___|_|  |_|   \__, |    \/
                                |___/
  ____ _          _     _
 / ___| |__  _ __(_)___| |_ _ __ ___   __ _ ___
| |   | '_ \| '__| / __| __| '_ ` _ \ / _` / __|
| |___| | | | |  | \__ \ |_| | | | | | (_| \__ \
 \____|_| |_|_|  |_|___/\__|_| |_| |_|\__,_|___/

        ___
       /   \
       \   /
  _     | |     _
 / \____| |____/ \
 |  ____   ____  |
 \_/    | |    \_/
        | |
        | |
        | |
        | |
        | |
        | |
        | |
        | |
        |_|

Blackmail

Little Johnnie desperately wanted a bright red wagon for Christmas.

His friends were writing letters to Santa Claus, but Johnnie decided to go one better.

“Dear Jesus,” he wrote. “If I get a red wagon for Christmas, I won’t fight with my brother Hank for a year.” Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, Hank is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise. So Johnnie threw away the letter and started again.

“Dear Jesus, if I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will eat all my vegetables for a year.” Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, that means spinach, broccoli and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep that promise.

Suddenly Johnnie had an idea.

(more…)

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English is Offensive

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

English is BAD

(Few of the lines are offensive)

English is not designed to be a perfect technical language.
e.g
You are looking Fine.
Fine for parking.

What does Fine Convey?

People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to
communicate with their English speaking tourists.

See tge nessages below, and the wrong mening they coney.

Cocktail lounge:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,
GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor’s office:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

COLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR
ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Car rental brochure:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET
HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE
THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

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