Fun For All

A very nice joke on where Confidence can take you. You may win/lose. But identifying a situation for nothing to lose, and winning there confidently is what life is.

The CEO organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for World Operations. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate
is Mr. Patel an Indian guy.

The CEO thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Mr. Patel says to himself, ‘I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try.

The CEO asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Mr. Patel says to himself ‘ I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.

What can happen to me?’ So he stays.

Then The CEO asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Mr. Patel says to himself, ‘I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’ So he stays in the room.

Lastly, The CEO asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Mr. Patel says to himself, ‘I do not speak one word of Serbo – Croat but what do I have to lose?’ So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

The CEO joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo – Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’

Calmly but quickly, Mr. Patel turns to the other candidate and says ‘kem chho?’

The other candidate answers ‘Hu majama, tu bol?’ ….

Technorati Tags: Confidence, conversation, experience, joke, language, life, management, Patel, situation

IF I WD KNOW THAT I M GONNA DIE 2MORROW
I WILL SPEND 23 HRS WITH U AND
IF YOU WONDER WHAT ABT THE LAST HOUR
IN THAT I WIL FIND SOMEONE
WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF U.

FRIENDSHIP IS WHEN SOMEONE HUTS U
U DON’T HURT BACK HE BLOCKS YOU,
U DON’T BLOCK BACK HE YELLS AT U,
U DON’T YELL BACK BUT WHEN HE NEEDS U,
U ALWAYS COME BACK.

WHAT KISSES MEAN.
ON THE CHEEK I MISS U
ON THE HAND I AM YOURS
ON THE NECK I WANT YOU
ON THE LIPS I LOVE YOU
ON THE FOREHEAD I CARE FOR YOU

BRUCE LEE’S FAVOURITES
VEGITABLE MU-LEE
BREAKFAST ID-LEE
FESTIVAL DIWA-LEE
ACTRESS SONA-LEE
MUSIC QUAWA-LEE
FILM COO-LEE
ANIMAL BI-LEE
TIMPASS KHUJ-LEE

U R THE
ACCENT of my life,
ALTO of my dreams
IKON of my eyes
ZEN of my thoughts
INDICA of my joy
LANCER of my heart
PLEASE HELP ME…
REMOVE THIS TRAFFIC.

I HIDE MY TEARS WHN I SAY YOUR NAME
BUT THE PAIN IN MY HEART IS STILL THE SAME
ALTHOUGH I SMILE AND SEEM CAREFREE,
THERE’S NO ONE WHO MISSES YOU MORE THANE ME.

Technorati Tags: love

A continuation to previous post

Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. IDIOT: I know your Password, hee, hee.

Friend: all right, what is my Password if you saw it?
Mr. IDIOT: four asterisks!

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. IDIOT: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. IDIOT: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the answer
is 6!!

Mr. IDIOT: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend. After 2 minutes Mr. IDIOT cries even louder

Friend: what now?
Mr. IDIOT: my sister just called, her mother died too

Mr. IDIOT: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. IDIOT: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!

Mr. IDIOT’s friend: Sorry I’m late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because
of a power failure.
Mr. IDIOT: Thats all right, me too…I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

(escalators are the staris that automatically take you up or down.)

Mrs. IDIOT watched her husband Mr. IDIOT searching high and low, all over the
living room.
She asked him: “What are you so frantically searching?”
Mr. IDIOT: “Hidden cameras!”
Mrs. IDIOT: “And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?”
Mr. IDIOT: “Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying …’You
are watching the Star channel’? “How Can he know what I am watching?”

Technorati Tags: blonde, sardar

Police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following conversation:

Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?

Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card
in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who
owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly
surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense
situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who’s car is this?

Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’ card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in
it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body
in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him
you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there
was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the lying fellow told you I was speeding, too

Technorati Tags: car, driver